15 years....

Wow!!!!  I can't believe it's been 15 years since I gave birth to my first born. I could not have been more scared and excited all at the same time.  He made his debut at 7:23 pm that evening, June 15th, 1996.  We hadn't found out what we were having, though I knew without a doubt it'd be a boy...  and obviously I was right.  John was so excited, and I was so in love immediately.  John John was born before they left babies in your room.  They took him to the nursery and promised that we'd see him in 4 hours.  I had some minor complications after his birth and couldn't get out of the bed, but John was allowed to go see him through the window in the nursery.  At about 11:15 we heard a baby crying in the hall and thought for sure that was the nurse bringing our baby boy to us.  John walked out to meet them.  After about 10 min they weren't in the room yet, and I heard no baby crying anymore.  Next thing I knew John walked into the doorway extremely upset.  I will never forget his first words...  "It's ok, he's not dead!"  Of course I instantly paniced, not being able to move I just started to cry.  What in the world could be wrong if those are the first words he has to say after seeing our son!  It turns out John John had a breathing issue.  Basically, they said he "forgot" to breath, 2 times in 5 mins.  When John left the room to "meet our baby", it turns out it wasn't our baby we heard and he had walked around to the nursery to see if they were getting ready.  He walked up to the window and noticed John John was BLUE!!!  He sayed he started beating on the window to get the nurses attention.  As soon as they touched him he took a breath but they layed him back down and when they took their hands off him again he forgot again.  Needless to say they weren't able to bring him to me that night.  They moved him to the NICU, and hooked him up to a few monitors.  I was still having complications and couldn't get out of the bed.  It was nearly 24 hours before I got to see my baby again.  I remember thinking, "what if something happens and I don't get to hold him again".  I was so afraid, those hours seemed to go like days.  John would go down every 3 hours and feed him, and come back and reassure me that he was perfect.  He'd had no issues since those 2, and he was fine.  I'll never forget the first time I got to see him again.  They wheeled me down in a wheelchair and into the NICU.  John picked him up out of the bed and layed him in my arms, he was truely perfect.  Wires and all, I didn't care.  He was my baby and instantly everything was okay.  I had to stay in the hospital an extra day, which turned into a blessing.  John John had to stay and be monitored for 6 days.  It was one of the hardest days of my life, leaving him that Monday night.  I was physically and emotionally exhausted.  I spent 3 and a half days at the hospital, from wake up til bed time.  It was a long week to say the least!
Anyway, it's now 15 years later.  John John has 2 of the 6 feet of my heart.  I couldn't be more proud a mother of him.  He is nearly perfect in every way.  He is so caring, compassionate, smart, talented, I just can't say enough.  That precious 9 pound toe head has turned into a God fearing, God loving, young man that has been through a lot in his short 15 years.  I wouldn't trade one second of his life for anything in the entire world.  God has blessed me with the opportunity to train up one of His own and believe it or not he has taught me probably as much as I've taught him. 
John John, I love you.  I'm so proud of the man you are becoming.  I'm so proud of the life you lead, and the choices you make.  They are not always easy, and they don't always end the way you'd like but you seem to always press on.  I'm so proud of how you allow the struggles in your life teach you, and mold you into who God would have you to be.  I pray for your future.  That you would continue to strive to put God first in your life.  I know that you have only great things ahead of you and can't wait to see where the next 15 years take you in this thing called life.  God has GREAT things for you!