A wife's heart...

First, our verse this past week.....  James 1:3 "...because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."  HOW TRUE!!!  I have been working on my study of James as well, but that'll wait for another time I think.
Today I really feel the urge (need) to share about the book I've finished, and am reading again.  It's by Elizabeth George "A Wife After God's Own Heart".  WOW, pretty much sums it up.  Here are the basics, the notes I've taken.

Growing in the Lord
Obviously before you can become a wife after God's own heart you have to have a heart for God.  If you haven't come to have a relationship with Christ that should be your first step.  He loves you/us/everyone; sinners that we are, His grace is sufficient for us ALL!!!  A relationship with Him alone will eternally change your life.  After you've taken that step these are some helpful things to do to know what God's has planned for you as a wife.  Read your bible EVERY DAY!!!  Pray for your husband EVERY DAY (3 times a day!)!!!!  Write a commitment letter to God.  Tell Him everything; confess what you struggle with, ask Him to show you the way, tell Him what you want - what you hope for - for your marriage.  Save the letter and refer to it often.

Working as a team
your husband is to lead - and in the same way we submit to the Lord we should follow our husband's leadership
your husband is to work and provide for his wife - Gen 3:17,19 says all their lives men will have to labor for their families to eat and live
your husband should love you
you are to help your husband - Gen 2:18 says man needed someone who could share man's responsibilities
"Little things"
Thank your husband.  He works hard to provide for you and the family.  Even if he's the "stay at home" parent, he still works hard, he does his part.  Thank him for whatever part he has in your team as husband and wife.
Show him respect.  Look at him when he's talking, don't interrupt, ask instead of tell, speak sweetly.  Pray and ask God to show you and help you follow His plan for your "team".   
Submit to him.  (No this doesn't mean be a door mat.  This means trust him to make the decisions and let him.  He has a huge responsibility in this.)  If someone has to lead (which according to God should be the husband), then someone has to follow (which God says should be the wife).  God's perfect plan is for the husband to lead, love, and work hard to provide, while the wife follows, loves, helps, and appreciates his efforts.
Love him, unconditionally.  Do not be a "husband-watcher".  Do not take it upon yourself to play the role of "Holy Spirit" in your husband's life, pointing out his faults.  Take care of your own faithfulness to your God-given assignment as the wife.  Do not postpone your obedience to your role as a wife and make it conditional to your husbands obedience. Instead of rating your husband, check out your own score as a wife.

Learning to communicate
Speak softly - "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" Prov 15:1  "A soft tongue can break hard bones" Prov 25:15
Speak sweetly - "Sweetness of the lips increases learning" Prov 16:21
Speak suitably - "Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones" Prov 16:24
Speak scantly - "In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise" Prov 10:19
Speak slowly - "Be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath" James 1:19
Do not be a constant "dripping".  Do not be angry, crabby, nagging, quarrelsome, etc.  "The contentions of a wife are a continual dripping" Prov 19:13;  "Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman" Prov 21:9; "A continual dripping on a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike" Prov 27:15
"... wish for your speech to minister to your husband and edify your relationship with him."  It's all about how we say what we say.
Learn to pray, learn to say nothing, learn to wait.
"Little things"
Follow God's guidelines... "put away" speech that doesn't match up to God's standards; ask God to guide you, identify any speech patterns that must go
Make it a goal to encourage your husband; help, heal, and minister (Eph 4:29)
Be quick to say sorry
"Say what you mean but don't say it meanly"
Seek to please God with your words

Enjoying Intimacy
"Little things"
Go to bed at the same time
Tackle the "I'm to tired" excuse

Managing your money
Money matter's to God
Money is to be earned; "Treasures of wickedness profit nothing" Prov 10:2, "He who has a slack hand becomes poor, but the hand of the diligent makes rich" Prov 10:4, "Wealth gained by dishonesty will be diminished, but he who gathers by labor will increase" Prov 13:11
Money is to be given.  Your money comes from God and should be used for His good.
Money is to be saved; "Through wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches" (Prov 24:3-4)
Money is not to be desired  "Better is a little with righteousness, than vast revenues without justice" (Prov 16:8)
Grow in character, be content with what you have, aupport your husband's efforts, and be a diligent homemaker and financial warrior as you "build your home"(Prov 14:1)
"Surely, if my husband is to provide, I can do my part by helping to make life easier for him in as many ways as I can."
Your character is more important than money (Prov 11:20); your reputation is better than money (Prov 22:1); wisdom is more important than money (Prov 14:24); and humility is better than money (Prov 22:4)  You, as a godly wife, are your husband's greatest asset.  You, as a godly wife, are better to him than money! (Prov 19:14)
"Little things"
Honor your husband's direction; check before making purchases.
Create a budget; for the areas you can control, that you are involved in; wait until funds are available.
Give to God's purposes.

Keeping up the Home
"Build" your home - "The wise woman builds her house" (Prov 14:1); a wise woman considers the caring of her house important and a priority in her life.
Watch over your home - "She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness" (Prov 31:27); shallow and unproductive activities should have no place in your life.
Manage your home - "marry, bear children, manage the house" (1 Tim 5:13-14)
Keep your home - "...be busy at home..." (Titus 2:5)
"Little things"
make the beds daily
make a daily to-do list
make a weekly meal menu
do one thing you've been putting off
work on your attitude "Heartily, as to the Lord and not to men" (Col 3:23); work with a positive attitude; work to better the lives of your loved ones; work with all your heart
work on growing; keep learning; as the season of your life changes so will the keeping of your home; look for ways to improve

Raising your children
praise God for His overwhelming grace!!!!!!!
no matter what stage of child rearing you are in God has given you an assignment like no other!
pray and seek to have His heart and mind-set toward your children
do not resent your children, do not complain about them, do not grow impatient with them, do not desire to get away from them; pray to love them, to love being with them, to love being a mother
teach your children; teach God's word; teach diligently; teach daily "My son, hear the instruction of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother" (Prov 1:8)
"Little things"
get up before the kids - if you get up after you start your day behind and there is not getting ahead; it gives you time to pray and have your quiet time, to start your day with God, officially wake up!
have a daily bible time with mom - read the bible together, talk about it, pray about it, make the bible a part of their daily life

Extending love to family
"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you" (Ex 20:12)
"Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise: 'that it may be will with you and you may live long on the earth'" (Eph 6:2-3)
don't get involved in mother-in-law bashing, and don't put her down to your husband either "Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." "Let all...evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice" (Eph 4:29,31)

Make time for fun
joy must begin in your heart; your thoughts and attitude, not your circumstances, make the difference
"Little things"
plan one fun activity a week
make each anniversary unique - even if it can't be on the exact date

Serving the Lord
serve at home first - don't give others what you haven't given at home first; serve your husband and children, give your love to them first, then share with others; it's not important what people at church think, first it's important what people at home think
serve with your husbands blessing and support - your obedience to God's will for you as a wife will greatly determine God's blessings on your serving, no to service may be God's will as much as a yes!
serve however you can - even if it's at home praying or making phone calls
"Little things"
pick one little thing to do at church
check your heart - and check your schedule
pray for others

Reaching out to others
God very clearly says that we are to "without a word" show our Christianity by our "conduct"; this doesn't mean don't ever speak out but God wants our life to send the message
"The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous person avails much" (James 5:16)
reach out to your husband, reach out to your children, reach out to your neighbors, reach out to your family, reach out to the world
"Little things"
invite your friends and neighbors to a bible study
open your home
Pray

WOW!!!!!  That's a lot of info!!!!  I guess you may not even need to read the book now huh.  Oh well! It's amazing how much the little things that you don't even think about can make so much of a difference.  Just allowing your husband to be the man God has called him to be, the provider, the protector, the leader, can go a long way!!!!  I've started implementing some of the "Little things" into my daily life and, just this week, our house has become so peaceful, happy, organized, etc.  God's plan for us as wives is simple, not necessarily easy, but with God's help if we are trying our best, yearning to follow His plan, if we just ask Him, He will guide us!!!!