And so it began...

So, I've been waiting and praying for this post for 15 months!!!
I'm not exactly sure how this is gonna go but I want to try to capture EVERY moment in this journey so I may ramble or mix up dates, and it may be long, but at least it'll all be here, where I can read it when I want/need.

A couple of posts ago I wrote about my prayer and heart for adoption.  The next post was John's reply.
I'm going to start from there...
I ALWAYS make snide remarks and comments about when we get a little girl.  Say things like "You better decide quick cause I don't want to be 40 with a baby", or "Just wait til we do this again"; you know, just making sure he knows I'm still there.  A couple of weeks ago we were asked if we would be interested in taking "PRIDE" classes (state mandated classes for foster parents or adoptive parents).  It is in no way a commitment to do anything, just a step into the process that helps prepare you for what you may encounter.  On date night 3 weeks ago I asked John if he was 100% sure he didn't want to go to the classes.  He said yes.  After a few seconds of silence he looked at me and said, "well, not 100% no.  Tell me about them."  So we talked about what they were for, why we would take them, when, how long, all the details that I knew and that he wanted to know.  That was it, nothing else was said about it.  It was announced in church the next Sunday that we (as a church) were hoping to be able to host a session of classes at our location.  Pastor said that they wanted to know in the next couple of weeks who was interested.  Nothing was said about it between John and I.  (I've been trying REALLY hard not to be pushy about this. Given it to God and trusting His timing and movement.)  Two Sunday morning's ago, at the end of the service, John leaned over and asked, "So when do those classes start?"  I didn't know what to say.  Honestly, I was speechless!!!  I just cried, I told him as far as I knew April.  That was it, nothing else.  We got to lunch and John said, "I can't believe you haven't asked me about what I said?!"  I honestly didn't know what to say.  I had been waiting 15 months for him to take the lead in any of these conversations and now that he had I didn't know what to say!  The next morning I asked him if I should tell pastor we're in or not.  He said he didn't know, he wanted all the information.  I said ok.  That night, Monday Feb 4th, when he got home from work, I met him in the garage.  I had decided it was time to ask.  All I had to say was, "what did you mean by what you said yesterday?"  Our lives will NEVER be the same!
He turned to look at me and just started crying.  All I could do was cry.  He proceeded to tell me he'd been thinking about this for months; he didn't know how to tell me, didn't want to get my hopes up if it wasn't real, but that it was on his heart for us to adopt!!!  (I still can't believe it, even as i type these words!)  We proceeded to have a 2 hr conversation.  We talked about the process, we talked about the pros and cons, we talked about how when God calls you to do something you just do it.  You don't ask questions, you trust Him to take care of the details, if it's truly from Him He will take care of them.  We cried and talked some more.  Every time I've gotten the question about domestic or international I've always said that will be John's decision.  Well, clearly he's been thinking about this for a while because he's already made that decision too; it looks like we're going to Ch*n*!!!!!  He said his heart is pulling him there.  He said he wants to go back to where it all started (with our friends who adopted a little girl a year ago).  He asked why I hadn't asked sooner about what he had said that Sunday morning.  I told him I felt like I push it already.  I didn't want to be nagging or pushy.  He stopped me mid sentence.  He said, "You need to know this is not for you or about you!  This is only about giving a little girl something she will never have if we don't give it to her.  Don't ever think that this is me saying yes to you.  This is so much bigger than that!"  I must say I couldn't agree more and was so blessed by that.  We talked for so long, it's just so amazing when God starts moving and we obey.  I can not even begin to tell you the joy on his face every time I see him pretty much.  It's like we are both afraid to break whatever is happening so we just smile and cry about it.
After we talked for a while we came inside.  John John was sitting at the computer.  I just walked by knowing I couldn't/shouldn't say anything to him.  I just prayed one day soon we'd share this decision with the kids and begin our process. As I came back around the corner a few minutes later JJ was grinning ear to ear and following John out the door.  Never in a million years did I think John would tell him, I just knew he'd overheard our conversation and was gonna beg and plead to know what's up. I walked out the door and asked what's up, John said, "I told him."  I said, "you told him what?!"  He said, "I told him it looks like we are going to Ch*n* to adopt a baby!"  Are you kidding me?!?!  You started telling our children?!?!?!  You've really had this on your heart huh?!?!?!  They talked about it for a little while.  JJ has been praying with me and the other 2 that John would feel the tug, though he's always said, "this will truly take a miracle".  Well, bubba, God is in the business of miracles and we got one tonight!
Later that night, after we went to bed, John leaned over and said, "thank you".  I was shocked.  What was he thanking me for?!?!  He said, "I never would've seen it with this perspective if you hadn't shown me.  Thank you for showing me what this is really about."  I couldn't sleep that night.  I was up all night thinking.  I was completely overwhelmed by God's grace and my husband's love and happiness!  It was an amazing beginning to this glorious, God led, journey.
Please join us in praying.  We want only God to be glorified in this story.  This is not about us, this about a God that is bigger than all things and a little girl, that He is going to allow us to be a part of her story.  We are so grateful and never want to take it for granted.  We pray God's protection over us and our children here, over the little girl that will God willing be ours one day, and for all the orphans around the world.  That adoptive parents will feel God's pull on their hearts to use them as part of His story, that He would be glorified around the world.
There's more to tell, probably tomorrow.  Hopefully I'll catch up the story soon and these posts won't be so long!
Please know that we are still in the EARLY stages of this process.  It's kinda like telling someone you're pregnant right after you've only taken the home pregnancy test!  We are those people though.  I believe in people being along for the ride praying for/with us. God has written this story and I can't wait to watch it unfold!  To Him be ALL the glory and praise!