So, we are at a point now in our process where we can see an end. It's so exciting, I just can't even put it into words!
This morning, however, it hit me that our family of 5 is about to drastically change. Everything about it... we are adding a toddler to the mix. For those of you who have never had a toddler there really is no way to explain what that means to a family, that's pretty set in their ways. I mean, it's been a long time since we've had a toddler!
I've just been thinking, I really want to treasure these last months as us 5. I want to spend time with the kids we have home right now. I don't want to miss anything because I'm certain that when we get home I will miss things. Not only just from the shear exhaustion from transition, but because we will have a toddler!!!!
Don't get me wrong, I CAN NOT WAIT, but I don't want to miss the now because I'm preparing for the next. The now is going to go very quickly, and the next is going to be a blur, and then all of the sudden we will be a family of 6 set in our ways and I really just don't want to miss the in-between!
So, is that weird?!
Friday, August 29, 2014
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Our Precious Girl...
So, we've been informed that we are not allowed to post anything identifiable. I'm dying to share our story but it's going to be a little bit vague as far as details about our baby girl. When I can share detailed information specifically about her I will, but for now... To God be the glory!
On June 30 I received a call from our agency. I try not to answer those calls in front of the kids, just in case, I don't want them to assume anything or be hopeful. (After all, they've been waiting 18 months too!) Well, on this afternoon I was in the car and Jordyn was with me, but there was no way I wasn't going to answer it. I'll never forget those words. The girl at the other end of the line proceeded. "Joy, I have a little girl here..." (Heart into throat...) "She has a condition that's not on your list..." (Shear panic...) "But you guys have been waiting so long..." (good, it's not just me feeling like that...) "When your name came across my screen I just felt like I should try..." (BUT GOD!) After all those words, and my immediate thoughts as she said them, I of course asked what her "condition" was. "She has what they're calling "controlled seizures", epilepsy." (NO WAY, I can't do that. I left that off our list for a reason! Please don't say anything else, I can't do this. Wait, what does that mean?...) So I asked. "It means that she was diagnosed with epilepsy but her seizures are being controlled. They have been controlled for 18 months." (Still, complete panic and near terror...) "Would you like to view her file?" (haha, no way...) I told her I'd need to talk with my husband because this was something that was very scary for us. (At least I've warned her, and given us a way out...) "That's perfectly fine. Please feel no obligation, especially since it's not a condition on your list." (Thank goodness, she'll understand...)
To be honest. It crossed my mind to not even call John. I was terrified!!! There's no way I could do epilepsy. (Hind-site, I know it was just the fear of the unknown but in that moment it was an absolute "not a chance"). Obviously I wasn't not gonna call John. I did but was very negative, and not excited, and totally giving him the ok to say no, without actually saying it. We agreed to talk about it when he got home, we had til 8:00 our time to decide.
I got home that afternoon and decided to google epilepsy. After all, if you want to be scared to death about something, and need to be reassured about your fear and "NO", then where else would you look?! Yeah, that was a mistake. Nothing but "good news", the younger diagnosis occurs the more likely a person is to outgrow the condition and be weaned off medicine or live a completely normal, healthy life on medication. (Yeah, she was 5 months at diagnosis, not sure it gets a lot younger than that). I literally could find none of the fears that my brain had conjured up. How could this be?! Obviously I was a little consumed that day, by the time John got home I had decided (very cautiously) that how could we not at least look at her file. John and I barely talked about it when he got home, but he agreed (very cautiously) that we couldn't say no without looking. I called, at 7:55, and requested the file from our agency. I was very sure to let her know that we were VERY CAUTIOUS and not very sure of our feelings, but how could we say no without even looking...
On June 30 I received a call from our agency. I try not to answer those calls in front of the kids, just in case, I don't want them to assume anything or be hopeful. (After all, they've been waiting 18 months too!) Well, on this afternoon I was in the car and Jordyn was with me, but there was no way I wasn't going to answer it. I'll never forget those words. The girl at the other end of the line proceeded. "Joy, I have a little girl here..." (Heart into throat...) "She has a condition that's not on your list..." (Shear panic...) "But you guys have been waiting so long..." (good, it's not just me feeling like that...) "When your name came across my screen I just felt like I should try..." (BUT GOD!) After all those words, and my immediate thoughts as she said them, I of course asked what her "condition" was. "She has what they're calling "controlled seizures", epilepsy." (NO WAY, I can't do that. I left that off our list for a reason! Please don't say anything else, I can't do this. Wait, what does that mean?...) So I asked. "It means that she was diagnosed with epilepsy but her seizures are being controlled. They have been controlled for 18 months." (Still, complete panic and near terror...) "Would you like to view her file?" (haha, no way...) I told her I'd need to talk with my husband because this was something that was very scary for us. (At least I've warned her, and given us a way out...) "That's perfectly fine. Please feel no obligation, especially since it's not a condition on your list." (Thank goodness, she'll understand...)
To be honest. It crossed my mind to not even call John. I was terrified!!! There's no way I could do epilepsy. (Hind-site, I know it was just the fear of the unknown but in that moment it was an absolute "not a chance"). Obviously I wasn't not gonna call John. I did but was very negative, and not excited, and totally giving him the ok to say no, without actually saying it. We agreed to talk about it when he got home, we had til 8:00 our time to decide.
I got home that afternoon and decided to google epilepsy. After all, if you want to be scared to death about something, and need to be reassured about your fear and "NO", then where else would you look?! Yeah, that was a mistake. Nothing but "good news", the younger diagnosis occurs the more likely a person is to outgrow the condition and be weaned off medicine or live a completely normal, healthy life on medication. (Yeah, she was 5 months at diagnosis, not sure it gets a lot younger than that). I literally could find none of the fears that my brain had conjured up. How could this be?! Obviously I was a little consumed that day, by the time John got home I had decided (very cautiously) that how could we not at least look at her file. John and I barely talked about it when he got home, but he agreed (very cautiously) that we couldn't say no without looking. I called, at 7:55, and requested the file from our agency. I was very sure to let her know that we were VERY CAUTIOUS and not very sure of our feelings, but how could we say no without even looking...
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Jordyn is 10!
Oh my goodness, how does it happen so fast?!?!
I can't believe the double digits have happened. I remember like it was yesterday the day I found out we were having another baby.
Baby girl, I love you. You are growing into such an amazing young woman. God has big things for you in this season of life and I can't wait to see you rise to the challenge. I feel like you are so aware of others spiritually. Your heart breaks for those that don't know Christ and it's precious.
You are going to be a big sister this year, and you will be AMAZING!!!!
God is working huge in your life.
I thank Christ for you daily. You were such a surprise to us and you continue to surprise us.
I love you chicken!!!
Let God move, He is going to take you great places.
I can't believe the double digits have happened. I remember like it was yesterday the day I found out we were having another baby.
Baby girl, I love you. You are growing into such an amazing young woman. God has big things for you in this season of life and I can't wait to see you rise to the challenge. I feel like you are so aware of others spiritually. Your heart breaks for those that don't know Christ and it's precious.
You are going to be a big sister this year, and you will be AMAZING!!!!
God is working huge in your life.
I thank Christ for you daily. You were such a surprise to us and you continue to surprise us.
I love you chicken!!!
Let God move, He is going to take you great places.
Friday, August 22, 2014
When your heart is in 2 places...
So, I often check the clock during the day. The last 3 weeks have been HARD looking at that clock. For instance, right now at my house it's 4:45. We are finishing homework for the day and chores, and preparing for dinner. My heart is also thinking about my precious youngest child. It is the middle of the night where she is. I'm praying she is sleeping soundly. This happens ALL DAY EVERY DAY!!! Literally, when I wake in the middle of the night I can't fall back to sleep without thinking what she may be doing. When we go to bed here she is probably preparing for lunch. When we are eating dinner, she is likely waking up. My heart is constantly wondering what she may be doing at any given moment. I watch my children that are home with me and wonder what she is doing then. My heart yearns for the moment when she is here with us, and I won't wonder anymore!
Just so y'all know, I am WRITING, writing, writing!!!! There will be lots to read when we are finally able to share.
The miracles that just keep happening, the blessings that we just keep receiving! We are so underserving, we fail him daily, but He just keeps pouring His grace on us. There are no words to describe the joy and thankfulness that I feel!
Thank you all so much for all of your prayers and support! Even though we can not share details please know that those things are HUGE in this process!
Until next time...
Just so y'all know, I am WRITING, writing, writing!!!! There will be lots to read when we are finally able to share.
The miracles that just keep happening, the blessings that we just keep receiving! We are so underserving, we fail him daily, but He just keeps pouring His grace on us. There are no words to describe the joy and thankfulness that I feel!
Thank you all so much for all of your prayers and support! Even though we can not share details please know that those things are HUGE in this process!
Until next time...
Monday, August 11, 2014
NAMES!!!!!
So, notice the new blog name?!?!
Anyway, her name...
I posted a long time ago about the meaning of her name. We had 3 "must haves"; has to start with a "J", has to mean something, and we will be using part of her Chinese name. Believe it or not this was very hard. There were not a lot of names that we liked that meant what we wanted it to mean. We wanted her name to mean "gift from God", or something close. So we decided we'd pick her middle name first. We figured we could do like we did with Travis and call her by her middle name, while her first name continues with the "J" tradition.
So, I came up with a list of middle names I like and first names I liked. I gave the list to John one night and told him to circle is top 3. About 10 min later he handed the page back, at the top of the page was written
Jadyn Grace
Personally this was the one I had chosen but didn't tell him that. He picked my favorite! Jadyn means: God has heard. Perfect, I think! And I just love the name Grace.
Our 3rd "must have" will be part of her Chinese name which we can not yet share.
We actually have grown to LOVE this name and will probably call her by it as a whole, we'll see what happens when she gets home.
So, that's her name...
More info coming as we are able to share. Please know that we are still months away from the day we will hold our little one. Please continue to pray with us that things will move as quickly as God would have so that we can hold our princess as soon as possible!
Love you all!
Anyway, her name...
I posted a long time ago about the meaning of her name. We had 3 "must haves"; has to start with a "J", has to mean something, and we will be using part of her Chinese name. Believe it or not this was very hard. There were not a lot of names that we liked that meant what we wanted it to mean. We wanted her name to mean "gift from God", or something close. So we decided we'd pick her middle name first. We figured we could do like we did with Travis and call her by her middle name, while her first name continues with the "J" tradition.
So, I came up with a list of middle names I like and first names I liked. I gave the list to John one night and told him to circle is top 3. About 10 min later he handed the page back, at the top of the page was written
Jadyn Grace
Personally this was the one I had chosen but didn't tell him that. He picked my favorite! Jadyn means: God has heard. Perfect, I think! And I just love the name Grace.
Our 3rd "must have" will be part of her Chinese name which we can not yet share.
We actually have grown to LOVE this name and will probably call her by it as a whole, we'll see what happens when she gets home.
So, that's her name...
More info coming as we are able to share. Please know that we are still months away from the day we will hold our little one. Please continue to pray with us that things will move as quickly as God would have so that we can hold our princess as soon as possible!
Love you all!
Saturday, August 2, 2014
Finally, a new waiting period... :)
"And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised." Hebrews 6:15
It's been almost 3 years of waiting, for me. Nearly 3 years ago I began to feel a sudden urge in the pit of my stomach. A nudge of hope for the precious treasures all over the world with no family, that maybe one of them could be my child.
For about 18 months I waited for God to place that same hope in John.
For the next 6 months we waited for paperwork to be processed, fingerprints to be sent, more paperwork to be finalized.
For 11 months after that it was waiting for a referral, just waiting for a picture of a child that could possibly be mine.
For 3 weeks after that we waited for doctors phone calls, answers from China, more doctors phone calls.
Now, for about 6 months we wait for more paperwork to process and then we get to go get our little girl and bring her home!
THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID OUR LITTLE GIRL!!!!!!!!!!
She's perfect, and the Lord has done amazing things over the last period of waiting. I can't wait to see what He does in the next waiting period!!
A couple of details...
- She just turned 2 in May
- As far as we know she's healthy ( a miracle in itself, a story for another time ).
We've sent in our LOI (Letter of Intent) and are waiting for a LOA (Letter of Acceptance) which could take months. We have other paperwork to fill out and file in the meantime, which is why the continued wait.
So, we've gone from one stage of waiting to another stage. I thought the last 18 months were hard, I'm pretty sure holding her picture and knowing her name and seeing her face and missing the next months of her life is going to near kill me!
Please pray, friends - that God will continue to hold our angel and love on her, that paperwork will move unusually quickly so that we can bring her home as quickly as possible, that we would follow the Lord's path for us and we would be particularly aware of His next steps for us, and above all else that everything we do and say in the next "waiting" time would only bring honor and glory to His name!
Thank you so much for your prayers thus far, we covet them more than you'll ever know!
It's been almost 3 years of waiting, for me. Nearly 3 years ago I began to feel a sudden urge in the pit of my stomach. A nudge of hope for the precious treasures all over the world with no family, that maybe one of them could be my child.
For about 18 months I waited for God to place that same hope in John.
For the next 6 months we waited for paperwork to be processed, fingerprints to be sent, more paperwork to be finalized.
For 11 months after that it was waiting for a referral, just waiting for a picture of a child that could possibly be mine.
For 3 weeks after that we waited for doctors phone calls, answers from China, more doctors phone calls.
Now, for about 6 months we wait for more paperwork to process and then we get to go get our little girl and bring her home!
THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID OUR LITTLE GIRL!!!!!!!!!!
She's perfect, and the Lord has done amazing things over the last period of waiting. I can't wait to see what He does in the next waiting period!!
A couple of details...
- She just turned 2 in May
- As far as we know she's healthy ( a miracle in itself, a story for another time ).
We've sent in our LOI (Letter of Intent) and are waiting for a LOA (Letter of Acceptance) which could take months. We have other paperwork to fill out and file in the meantime, which is why the continued wait.
So, we've gone from one stage of waiting to another stage. I thought the last 18 months were hard, I'm pretty sure holding her picture and knowing her name and seeing her face and missing the next months of her life is going to near kill me!
Please pray, friends - that God will continue to hold our angel and love on her, that paperwork will move unusually quickly so that we can bring her home as quickly as possible, that we would follow the Lord's path for us and we would be particularly aware of His next steps for us, and above all else that everything we do and say in the next "waiting" time would only bring honor and glory to His name!
Thank you so much for your prayers thus far, we covet them more than you'll ever know!
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